What Would Happen if Someone Fell Into Erik's Lair
by Supergirrl
Summary: Second in my MarySue trilogy. What would happen if a fan fell into Erik's world? Oneshot.


This is the second in the Mary-Sue trilogy, I hope it is enjoyable. Reviews are nice, but I'll sick this Sue and the Avatar one on you if you don't at least take the time to click the stupid purple button.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Phantom of the Opera. Technically, Gaston Leroux does, but he's dead. And so's Susan Kay, so I guess it belongs to Andrew Lloyd Webber. I do own the Sue, unfortunately. She's up for grabs, by the way!

* * *

Aurora Vivian Marie Susan Bella Jewel Estel Starshine Rainbowpetal Flowerbud was just an ordinary girl who happened to love Phantom of the Opera. She had never read the books, or seen the musical, or even the TV series, but she had seen the recent movie. Aurora Christine Marie Susan Bella Starshin Rainbowpetal Flowerbub had considered reading the book, but she knew that since it was not starring Gerard Butler, and Phantom was not nearly as interesting without him. That and the fact that Aurora Vivian Marie Susan Bella Jewel Estel Starshine Rainbowpetal Flowerbud could not read(That required more brain cells than could fit in her tiny, perfectly shaped skull.), made her an enthusiastic, if uninformed, fan.

Aurora Vivian Marie Susan Bella Jewel Estel Starshine Rainbowpetal Flowerbud was exceptionally beautiful, with golden curls that fell perfectly down the middle of her perfectly curved back. She was extremely tall, and very elegant and had tiny little feet and hands. Her eyes were magnificent glowing(Ignore the fact that it would be rather creepy to see someone with glowing eyes) jewel-like orbs of the deepest(insert various jewel name here), and her skin was so perfect and flawless it actually glowed(Shall we ignore that glowing skin either indicates a) Really bad sunburn, b) Being one of those aliens that glow from that one movie that's name I can't remember or c) Having been exposed to LARGE amounts of uranium?).

Anyways, she was an extremely good singer and a perfect ballerina, in addition to being able to belly dance, being able to play the trumpet, piano, organ, flute, trombone, baritone, clarinet, bassoon, saxophone, guitar, harp, drums, marimba, banjo, spoons… On and on the list of her numerous skills and talents went, but Aurora Vivian Marie Susan Bella Jewel Estel Starshine Rainbowpetal Flowerbud would never brag about all these wonderful abilities, despite the fact she was only sixteen. She was far too pure and innocent and kind to do that!

Anyhow, She Whose Name Is Too Freaking Symbolic and Annoying For Me to Type Over and Over Again, but By Now You Should Get the Point, was watching Phantom for the 12,345,678,987,654,321 time, as was her custom. She was singing along to the Phantom of the Opera song, and knew that her voice was far superior to that indecisive slutty tramp whore Christine when suddenly, the TV gave a dramatic sputter, and the screen went black. Frowning in a way that was both perfect and adorable, she walked over and began to examine the back of the TV.

Thinking that her degrees in technology, art history, math, history, religion, English, French, Biology, microbiology, oceanography, climatology, meteorology and Sueology would not go to waste, she did several mechanical things, and accidentally gave herself a small shock. Groaning daintily, she collapsed to the ground in a delicate heap (Notice that all that the Sue does is perfect and effortless. If she was vomiting her lungs out, it would be in a dainty, delicate manner). Everything went black.

When Aurora Vivian Marie Susan Bella Jewel Estel Starshine Rainbowpetal Flowerbud( I used copy and paste) woke up, she was lying in a poorly lit, wooden hallway. She woozily(And delicately, but that goes without saying), rose to her feet and thought," Lyke, omg, wear am i? this izn't my liveng rome!"

(Translation, " Like, oh my God, where am I? This isn't my living room!")

Then, she heard the high-pitched wailing of Carlotta, and squealed excitedly," omg! im in teh phantom world! i now how to find fantom!"

(Translation,"Oh my God! I'm in the Phantom world! I know how to find Phantom!)

Please also ignore that a) the Opera House is now abandoned. Carlotta would not be singing there. It wasn't burned to the ground, but the inside was completely destroyed, b) Phantom would no longer be living there. He probably either took up residence in another theater or became homeless, and c) His name is Erik. Use it. He doesn't like always being called Phantom all the time.

Continuing on, She With The Extravagant Name snuck daintily through the hallways, without knowing where she started out, or even where Christine's dressing room was. You see, Sues have a built-in compass that allows them to navigate perfectly anywhere at any time. She, being a self-insert, was not seen by anyone on her journey, despite the fact that they were in a large building filled with people. Using her patented Sue Positioning System(or SPS), she reached Christine's dressing room. Since she is a Sue and no normal rules apply to her, the door was unlocked and the room unoccupied.

Long Name opened her perfect, Cupid's bow mouth and sang in the perfect voice that won her the lead in every musical/play/opera that she had ever tried out for:

Guide and guardian!  
Grant to me your  
glory!  
Angel of Music!  
Hide no longer!  
Come to me, strange  
angel...

To Perfect Hair's great surprise, Erik did not appear on the other side of the mirror. A rat exploded from her high-pitched screeching, but other than that, nothing happened. So she sang it again. And again. And again. After killing all rats within a half-mile of her(And severely ticking off the animal rights people of the 1800's), she decided to open the mirror and walk down herself. She did, and managed to avoid every one of the traps using her patented SueSense 2000. After having a very interesting time crossing the lake(the boat was gone, and she couldn't touch water-she would melt like a witch-, she strapped together bat corpses that she stunned via huge radiant grins), she reached Erik's lair.

Erik had been busy composing his second opera (Don Juan Was Unsuccessful, But He's Trying Again!) when suddenly, all the bats and rats that inhabited his lair dropped dead. Sighing, he put his music away and thought," Here comes another one of those damn Sues. He was right, I guess." He made himself comfortable on his organ bench until he saw her floating through the coincidentally open gate to his lair, looking as radiant as someone who was using dead mammals as a mode of transportation could be.

She squealed with delight, and shouted," i have finalee fonde you, fantom! know we can git marryed evin thogh im only sixtine, and have sexee babiz!"

(Translation: I have finally found you, Phantom! Now we can get married even though I'm only sixteen and have sexy babies!") He watched her with intense concentration, not because he liked looking at her( Her glowing skin hurt his eyes), but he needed to make sure she was right underneath-

There. He quickly pulled a hidden lever, and the gate dropped down, impaling Long Weird Name in the back. She sputtered once daintily, and exploded into a whirl of pink and purple sparkles. Erik reached down and pulled out his Emergency Sue Warning Device and dialed the Blue Spirit's number. When he answered, Erik said in a typically brilliant and musical way," You were right, thanks for the heads up. Any other Sues on the Suedar?"

There was a brief silence before the other guy replied," Damn, we've got a Maximum Ride one honing in on Fang. Do you want me to warn him, or you?"

" He helped me out with the Erik/Raoul shippers, so I owe him one. Thanks for the warning, and good luck with that one chick. Katana or whatever."

They both hung up, and Erik dialed Fang's number. When the boy answered, Erik said," I hate to tell you this, but we've got a Sue heading your way. And she's a whopper, I can feel it."

* * *

So the next Sue is going to be a Maximum Ride Sue. Reviews will be given to Erik as a token of friendship.

I am ,readers/reviewers, your obedient authoress,

O.G.


End file.
